Intimacy…

Intimacy for women living with nmo can be challenging. I personally have experienced some moments in the bedroom, that frankly I thought I was going crazy. The reality is that I wasn’t going crazy but more experiencing side effect symtpoms caused by nmo. It was mentally, emotionally and physically draining. I couldn’t believe how my body was betraying me and then having to explain to my husband that sex wasn’t enjoyable at that moment, not because of him, but because of nmo.  

First, we must understand why this type of dysfunction is happening in our bodies. The ideal person to talk about these problems is with your doctors since they will know and understand the severity of the lesions you have. They will be able to explain the damages to your body caused by the lesions. Also having low libido can cause a great number of mental health issues. So please don’t think you’re crazy, consult a doctor. Sex with a disability caused by nmo is another level of creativity. Sex is very physical and can be challenging to those of us who have a physical disability, but not impossible. Here are some tips so you can finally enjoy sex in a way that is not physically draining to your body. Hopefully, this will help you!

1.     TALK TO YOU DOCTOR: In women, we can sometimes experience loss of sensation due to damaged nerves, vaginal dryness, emotional dysfunction, and more. Always communicate with your doctor first before trying anything. They understand more than you imagine and can suggest some medications or great tips to better your experience.

2.     COMMUNICATIONS. Communication is key to having great sex. You need to be able to tell your partner your feelings, what is bothering you, physical pain and how nmo is affecting you when it comes to sex. When your able to communicate about how nmo is affecting you sexually it opens up more dialogue and ideas about to safely have sex. Consider a sex therapist if you don’t feel comfortable with the topic.

3.     USE THE BATHROOM: Due to bladder and bowel incontinence, it is very important to know your body and the signs of incoming incontinence to prevent accidents. Monitor and schedule your fluid/food intake so you can try to predict bathroom uses. Although you’ll never know when your body decides to fail you during sex, you can try to control the situation when you plan ahead. Do your best to make using the bathroom as needed because incontinence has no rules or limits to follow.

4.     TOYS. Don’t be afraid to use sex toys. Sex toys were created to help achieve your highest climax. Whether by yourself or with a partner exploring different options in the bedroom is always fun. There are many toys, swings, and furniture to help you position comfortably in the bedroom all while conserving your energy.

5.     FOREPLAY:  Sometimes getting to the point is just boring and using a device to move around can actually get you out of the mood. Use foreplay to help your body relax, to help you get into your desired position, massage any muscles that suffer from tone/spasticity. Get creative, have fun and get comfortable.

6.     LUB: Use a lubricant! Remember that your body’s communication channels are not quite well and so sometimes your body won’t know when it’s time for sex. Help your body out and get some lubricant!

7.     HAVE FUN: This is a learning process for you. Enjoy every touch, learn what feels good, practice safe sex, and try new things. Take it as a new challenge to help better your sex life in a way that is not traditional. Better yet, throw away the word traditional from your vocabulary when it comes to sex and make a personable experience.

 Comment below if you have any tips and tricks!

Stay safe Fabs!

Aldelly